Celebrating Christ

“Children need to know how to make sense of the world. From their earliest moments out of the womb, their brains are working furiously, trying to analyze the information that is pouring in and demanding interpretation and response. As children grow up, they develop mental categories that make such analysis and interpretation more efficient. Before they reach junior high, they have developed a worldview.” So says researcher George Barna in his book Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions (p. 66).

If that’s so, let’s not waste a minute this Christmas season in helping our kids understand the difference between the Christmas our culture has created and the Christmas that we Christians gratefully and joyfully celebrate! Talk about the “two Christmases” around the kitchen table; together develop a two-column, two-Christmas “to do” list; and involve your kids, young and old, in activities that focus on anticipating and celebrating Christ’s birth.

Here are a few suggestions for starters:
• Read the story of Jesus’ birth to your toddler; use blocks and “little people” to make your own nativity scene. (Then knock it down and make it again!)
• With your elementary school children, plan a birthday party for baby Jesus. Send invitations to friends and family; bake a cake; sing carols.
• With your middle schooler, check out an Angel Tree project in your community, and buy gifts for children whose names you select. Include a Christmas storybook with each gift.
• Ask your high schooler to go online and find out how Christians in other cultures celebrate Christ’s birth.

Have a blessed Christmas!

Festive Fleece

Christmas traditions provide wonderful family memories. So why not make a tradition out of serving others while you spend family time together? Here’s one idea: make no-sew fleece blankets and donate them to a local shelter or children’s hospital. It’s easy and fun, even for non-crafters!

For each blanket, you’ll need two fleece rectangles, 54” (1.3 m) wide by 2 yards (1.8 m) long. You can use two different colors of fleece for extra fun). You’ll also need a pair of sharp cloth scissors and a ruler.

Here’s what to do:
• Put one fleece rectangle on top of the other, wrong sides together.
• Trim off the selvage edges (the edges that are machine-finished).
• Cut a 4” (10 cm) square from each corner.
• Along each edge, cut strips that are 1” (2.5 cm) wide and 4” (10 cm) long (this goes faster if you have a rotary cutter, but scissors work fine).
• Knot corresponding strips from top and bottom fleece pieces together with a double knot. (TIP: For a more even finish, knot every other strip; then turn blanket over and knot remaining strips.)

Something About Mary

You’ve put up the tree, arranged the Advent candles, tucked the Jesus figurine into the manger and are about to tuck yourself into bed when Junior appears in the doorway, light shining all around him. He pops a question that leaves you terrified: “What’s a virgin?”

In a flash you know he’s not referring to olive oil. “Do not be afraid,” you tell yourself, and then you take a deep breath. It’s a classic kids’ Christmas question—one your mother probably answered with “someone who isn’t married” when you asked it so many years ago. (It’s the answer she regretted giving you when, during Christmas dinner, you told Great Aunt Millie you knew she was a virgin.)

So what’s a parent to do during this teachable moment?

First, be glad your child is asking you the question! Studies show kids get most of their information about sex from their peer group and/or the media—neither of which always share your values. Take the opportunity to build an environment where your kids feel free to ask you things.

Second, avoid answering the question like mom did. Instead, answer honestly and use words your child can understand. Something like: “A virgin is a person who hasn’t had sex with another person.” (If your child is asking the question, he’s ready for the answer. So if “sex” is a new word, be sure to explain that in simple, kid-friendly terms too!) If your child is familiar with the logistics of sex, she may strike a “talk-to-the-hand” pose and pull an “Eeuw, gross” face, but that’s okay! Remind her that sex is a wonderful thing God designed to happen between a married couple and then add a variation of what your mom told you—“Mary wasn’t married and she hadn’t had sex, but God made it possible for her to have a baby.”

Here’s the cool thing: answering this question simply and honestly adds a whole new dimension to the Christmas story and to your faith-talk with your child. Consider the miracle of Mary becoming Jesus’ mother, wonder how Mary and Joseph’s families and friends might have reacted to the news, and talk about the faith they showed. God chose an amazing way to send his Son to earth, and you get to tell your kids all about it. That’s more than an awkward moment, that’s a blessing!

“I’m Dreaming of a . . . ”

That’s the Christmas song that gets me! As December approaches it sings in my head. But I have my own version: I substitute the word “perfect” for “white.” I’m a Midwest mom, so a snowy, holiday wonderland is the least of my worries. I just want this Christmas to be the happy and blessed celebration our family anticipates with excitement. But how can I help make this dream come true amid the frantic and frustrating busyness that accompanies the season?

Cards, gifts, cookies, choir rehearsals, concerts, Christmas programs, decorating, visiting, entertaining, worshiping (which should be first on this list, right?)—it’s the reality, not the dream, that finally does me in at Christmas.

Every year I think, “Maybe this Christmas will be different . . . maybe this year we’ll get things right and focus first of all on Christ and what his birth means for us. Maybe this year . . .”

Karen Marie Yust’s book Real Kids, Real Faith introduced me to the idea of observing “two Christmases.” That has helped me think more clearly about Christmas and sort out my mixed-up priorities. Yust doesn’t promise perfect Christmases—a dream I’m almost ready to give up. But she does suggest that we can celebrate Christmas in an authentic way when we acknowledge (to ourselves and to our children) that celebrating Christmas as Christians differs from celebrating it with the wider culture.

Yust doesn’t suggest tossing out the Christmas customs of sending cards and giving gifts, of Christmas lights and Santa Claus. There’s much to be treasured and enjoyed in those rituals. But she does stress the value of helping kids understand that these are creations of our culture, not part of our heritage as people of God. Yust says, “We tell our children that Santa is an idea people came up with so they could enjoy surprising one another with gifts!” I find much grace in her wisdom—and some clarity too.

We hope to make two lists this year—things we’ll do to make Christmas a joyful time for our family (exchanging gifts, baking cookies, decorating the tree, enjoying holiday concerts) and things we’ll do to deepen our understanding of the real Christmas joy that only Christ can bring (lighting our Advent candles, telling the story of Jesus’ birth around our nativity scene, singing songs that tell of the Christ child, giving to others out of our own abundance).

Perhaps we’ll keep track of time spent preparing for both Christmases—and adjust the balance in the right direction. (Not a bad approach to evaluating how we spend money this year either!) But, most important, we’ll talk a lot as a family about our busyness, our preparation, our anticipation (of both Christmases) in a different way this year—a way that substitutes a healthy, even holy, perspective for that unhealthy dream of perfection!

And if the perfect Christmas eludes us yet again, we’ll chuckle and rejoice at the grace that’s ours because of the real Christmas!

—Pat Nederveld, author of the God Loves Me series